I'm not sure if the VH1 coverage of the Critic's Choice Awards was supposed to placate my need for a gown-filled awards extravaganza...

"Thumbs down", or "2.5 stars", or "Not Hot".  This critic is choosing not to award anything here. 

The awards part was extremely awkward, with DL Hughley's painful, weak jokes, and a cringe-inducing screech speech from Best Young Actress, Nikki Blonsky:

 She was really fantastic in 'Hairspray', but please stop screeching - we get it, you're excited about beating out all the cuddly 8-yr-olds (no small feat, as my inappropriate crush, Michael Cera, sadly discovered in the Best Young Actor category).

I had to turn the show off, after 10 minutes.  I just couldn't sit through it.  But if you did happen to sit through it, and know anything about French actress Marion Cotillard:

and who created her sassy dress and delicious SHOES?  Please tell me! 

The best part of the show was the red carpet pre-funk, and more specifically, Ross The Intern (Ross Matthews - from the Jay Leno Show).

(Ed note: I could not find any photos of Ross from the Critics' Choice Awards Show, so had to post one from a completely different and, undoubtedly, completely more fun awards show.)

What a honey he is!  He was just so adorable, and thankfully NATURAL, with the celebrities he interviewed.  You know when you're watching someone interview a celebrity, and you can tell they are a robot aren't even paying attention or making an attempt at genuine interest in what the person has to say?  Ross was the opposite of that.

I would have enjoyed, and actually watched, the entire show if they'd had Ross just presenting the awards to the winners, right out there on the red carpet.

Although, did I, or did I not say, I did not want to see this

 If Ross had interviewed them, they would have been smiling.